it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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