Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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