Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
