I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
