she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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