just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
