Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
