p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?