How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?