in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
