she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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