New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This house was built for laser tag.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.