I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest