At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.