Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.