i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
This girl is more easily done than said...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
