Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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