I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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