im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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