I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
