Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
