Umm I'm too high to move.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
