I faked an abortion last night.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
