I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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