Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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