You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Randomize
