She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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