i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
