kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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