hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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