she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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