We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I need help removing her.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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