In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
