everyone is single if you try hard enough
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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