she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
And then he peed in my hair
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