My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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