last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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