Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm at about main and main street
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
