I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And then my night got REAL pukey
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
