I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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