Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we're making bets on your personal life
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
