this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
