You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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