you guys were way drunker than both of me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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