What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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