I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
True college students do jello shots in the library
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