We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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