We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We got so high we made milksteak
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
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he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
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So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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