Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
