therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
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The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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