I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Apparently you make a good broom.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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