Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
