So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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