I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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