i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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