do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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