There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
