I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
