It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
