I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
