She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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