There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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