My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
