yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
