I hate your face
I heard we made out
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
